“Mommy can we go back to Earth”

I grew up in a small 2 bedroom in the Pacific Northwest with my mom and my dad. My mom a Caucasian and my dad an African American. My parents fought often and I often feared for the future. By the grace of God my childhood was not abusive physically however it unfortunately was mentally. My parents used me as a pawn in their games of manipulation. I was taken from my dad at age 5 and went to live with my mom and her boyfriend. I did not really know what it all meant but I knew I was not where I was supposed to be.

“Mommy can we go back to Earth” were the words that came out of my mouth as we boarded the capsule that was to jet us across the vast scablands of the southern United States. To a reality where I was merely an object of revenge and somehow at the same time love. A kind of Chiaroscuro Love-Revenge Dichotomy. Almost as intoxicating as the bursting sepsis of appendicitis that my spirit had endured. As quick as the time I spent in my new reality had began it had come to an end and I was back in the PNW with my father and began a new life that was much more promising than the one I had been forced into unwittingly.

For any of you who have been children in the midst of a divorce, you may very well know that it does not always seem as though there is anything wrong. Sometimes we go to mommys and other times we stay with daddy. Sometimes mommy says bad things about daddy. And on and on. All of this begins to fester until the truth begins to surface as one grows older and begins to realise how these actions have affected childhood. Struggling with how to treat and honor both of your parents. Struggling with what parent to “choose” for the holidays.

I want to make children and adults alike aware that when parents bad talk each other to their children it is a form of abuse and also that you do not have to suffer alone. I grew up terrified of being alone and introverted because I could not fend for myself. When I realised there was someone who was bigger than the people who were bigger than me and he began to transform and renew my spirit man I was set free. You probably know his name…

Jesus Christ

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